Alien Invasion

DISCLAIMER: Beware the one they call j’on-ath^aa’an Pin:n|ock. He is an impostor and not to be trusted. He will tell you that he has been invited to appear as a guest blogger, but in truth he has forcibly taken over the blog, from which he will be launching his campaign for taking over the known universe. You know you’re in trouble when you read the words “is this thing on?”, which is a secret code in the kk’Ekk language for “here we go, chaps! Commence Operation Total Domination!”

That said, he seems like a jolly nice chap. Please don’t hit me again.

Is this thing on?

Good.

There’s a general principle adhered to by radio presenters, which is whenever you’re away make sure the person sitting in for you is really rubbish. Because that way you can ensure that the general feeling on your return is “Thank God you’re back. Who on earth was that git?” rather than “Actually, we’d prefer the other one, please.”

So with that in mind, many thanks to Lev for inviting me to take over his blog for a day.

I’m guessing that there may be a few of you who are mutual acquaintances of ours on Twitter and Facebook who have already heard me banging on about my bloody book for some time now and are sick to the back teeth of it. You have my permission to leave the room. Go and do some quiet study or something.

As for the rest of you, thank you for staying and gosh, it’s nice to see so many new faces here. My name’s Jonathan Pinnock and I’m a writer. No, you haven’t walked into a meeting of some literary 12-step programme, I’m just trying the assertion out for size. You see, I’ve just had my debut novel published, and I’m still a bit excited about this.

The book is called “Mrs Darcy versus the Aliens” and it’s got the quickest elevator pitch ever conceived: it’s a sequel to “Pride and Prejudice” with added aliens (see? that elevator didn’t even get as far as the mezzanine). It’s been a long time in the writing – derailed as it was by the appearance of a certain rival zombie mash-up that we will make no further mention of – but it’s in the shops now and I really would like you to go out and buy it. Well, obviously I would.

But why would you want to buy a book about an alien invasion of Regency England? It’s a fair question. Well, apart from the aliens, it’s got Jack the Ripper, several ghosts, Lord Byron, dirigibles, exploding contraptions, several double-entendres and a pigeon called Colin. Jane Austen herself puts in an appearance at one point, which means I can also pass it off as a masterpiece of experimental literary meta-fiction. To sum up: it’s the most fun you can have with a bonnet on.

Obligatory boring details: the website is here (and I recommend you pay especial attention to the Wickhampedia. There’s some silly YouTube stuff here, too. UK readers can buy the book in WHSmith (where it’s currently on promotion) and Waterstone’s. It’s also available in all the usual online places, including (much to my surprise) the Jane Austen Centre Online Giftshop, where they have a few copies signed with my trademark tentacle signature.

I’ll be off now. Many thanks indeed to Lev for inviting me in.

(Editor’s note: who on earth was that git?)